Hi 42Zero - you sound stressed. When family members are being obnoxious, then maybe you can find ways to keep some distance from them. When you find yourself having suicidal thoughts, please keep things in perspective and remind yourself that you have other options. So focus on some of the productive things that you can do, that you want to do. And maybe go talk to someone in a counselling department, someone who will listen to you, and help you sort things out, and find some peacefulness.