I hear you. It's kind of a funny thing what I want my T to just get immediately and intuitively and what I'm glad that she doesn't. There are things my T doesn't necessarily get about, say, internalized homophobia that have forced me to explain myself to her. In doing so I've had some big realizations that I might not have had if we'd each assumed that she knew what I was talking about.

(Just the other day I was explaining the term micro-aggression to her and instead of letting it be a theoretical discussion she asked me to give some examples from my life. She asked how recently and often I felt I encountered micro-aggression and after thinking about it, I gave an example from the day before. It was a helpful conversation.)

Really internalized homophobia feels to me like a specific manifestation of shame and low self esteem. I feel like she really gets shame and low self-esteem quickly and intuitively so it works out.

What I feel like she doesn't get so well is the notion of depression as an illness rather than a feeling. She has had to really stretch sometimes to see where I'm coming from and I appreciate her effort but really, really wish she just got it. I've felt frustrated to tears about it at times. I've felt like finding a T who suffers from depression, someone who wouldn't say shite like "how you're feeling is a feeling... not a fact" that makes me feel like throttling her. We've worked on the issue and I stay with her because, apart from working well together in general, I appreciate how much effort she makes to get it and how much she cares about my frustration and sadness when I feel she doesn't. But I feel like in a perfect world she'd just know.

It sounds like that's how you're feeling about having a queer T. Various aspects of our lives, experiences and identities need specific kinds of understanding and care at different times. Right now, for you, sounds like it's important to have a T who just knows queer.