This is such a huge topic and I am sure it has been discussed many times. But still for many it is a huge struggle when the T has to cancel. My T cancelled a few times because of the winter weather as well, either because the schools were closed and she had to care for her children or because she couldn't get to the office. Whenever a T cancels out of personal reasons, people are in two minds about it. On the one hand they feel concern for their therapist - is she/he ok? But what we don't like to admit sometimes is the bigger feeling of missing him/her, feeling unimportant, feeling abandoned, feeling we don't count as much - or, like you, we think.. gosh, I really need him/her now and this is stressing me out. Many people chose their therapist on their personal status.. My friend chose her T because she is unattached with no family and a very flexible schedule. I chose mine because she was a mother, because I felt her love for her family in the very first session. In her office are drawings from her children. It makes me feel like I am in the presence of someone who cares deeply. But more than once I had to admit that I felt like crying when she cancelled because something personal happened in her private life.

But, I believe it's ok to feel that way, it shows we have built a connection with our T, we have real feelings towards them and even acknowledging jealously or disappointment is ok. It gives us a chance to re-examine our feelings.. Does the jealously have something to do with what we experienced in our childhood? Does the disappointment have something to do with our childhood? How can we work this out? It builds an excellent ground to bring this up with your T..

BUT, if you need real help and you need it more regularly than your T can provide, perhaps it is a good idea to look around for someone else. Even if you have a great relationship with your current T. Therapy is about YOU - so you have to define what you need and where you can get it.

I hope you won't get many more cancellations and I hope you find the help you are looking for!

With love,
Amelia