I can push/pull.... but usually it's just pulling away. I pull away at any tiny little things.

My T is getting better at recognizing when it happens in the moment. A lot of the time he changes the direction and tries to pull me back. Other times, especially if it's near the end, he'll calm things down and he'll wait for me to email him. He's actually told me a few times "Thanks for emailing.. I knew I was going to get one!". I email and tell him if something freaked me out, because for the life of me I just can't do it in the moment.

It's really, really, hard for me to try and make myself go back instead of just pulling away totally. But I do, and my T is really helpful at helping drag my butt back and face whatever upset me.

And yep, the same thing happens in my other relationships. I expect that I test a bit more there, but I try not to. Especially if it's an intimate relationship, I'm a lot more likely to try addressing what bothers me.