ToeJam...maybe I am really off here...but what I read between the lines is that you have an urge to take care of others, to please them in some way. You want to be fair to your wife and to live up to your therapist's standards...because of course your therapist wants to see improvement. I think you have to be careful here. If you are depressed, your main priority really has to be to do what you have to do to get out of your depressed state. Be authentic. Yes, acknowledge your wife's support but be true at the same time. Same thing with your therapist. I liken it to putting on your own oxygen mask first when the plane goes down...particularly in reference to your wife.

I hope that makes sense...I am only on my first coffee this morning