Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me
I have been sleeping a lot more than normal (for me) lately. And I am still always tired. Unmotivated. Sure- if I am asked to do something - I will tend to get the task done (I have always been a person to do what has been asked of me).
And for those of you who have seen me here and read my posts..... you may be a little surprised to hear me say that I tend to try to be very positive (or i "used to" be that way).
Today I woke up in a medium mood. Not a great mood, but not dark (what I call my depression) either. Lately, I find myself almost afraid to say I am in a good mood - as if that will tempt the darkness to attack me and put me in a very depressed mood.
So - I exist in a world of medium to dark to super dark. Never upbeat anymore. Never happy (other than a moment here or there). And even when I do have a moment of happiness - it usually is followed by a deeper sadness when the happiness fades.
It makes me wonder if I am just putting off the inevitable. That ultimately the darkness will win.
I just want to sleep. forever.
|
when my parents see im doing ok or "good" that day, im always up in the air to about because what was once the feeling of "good" could turn to very bad and dark feelings within myself very quickly. so yeah i get the never having a stable mood or like when ive got to make plans with someone, i can almost never give them a heads up of if im going to be able to come or not because my moods and mental state change so drastically. i often wake up feeling tired too. so of it could be not sleeping through the whole night or the meds you may be taking. wish i could be more of help to you my friend but im good at hugs and being there for my friends and comforting them the best i can.
