Usually I don't do this, because I don't subscribe to the idea that dreams are on a completely separate plane than waking thoughts and also because sometimes, contrary to Freud's beliefs, a cigar is just a cigar. But I have one dream that I've had variations of at very specific times that I think it might be important to discuss with T.

I sometimes have dreams of people I care about dying, and I noticed that with former teacher/mentor/faux-mother-figure, I would have very frightening recurring dreams of her either being very ill and about to die (and me not being able to see her or her kids not even telling me) or of her already being dead and me being at the funeral or her dying as I was trying to get to her but it was too late. I realized that I started having these dreams when I started to really trust her and believe she was in it for the long haul (she wasn't, go figure, but I believed that for awhile) and then these dreams came out of nowhere and happened practically every night, and then tapered off when I realized she wasn't actually as trustworthy as I'd thought.

When I was fifteen, I would have the same recurring dream of my mother either dying or being dead and me either not knowing or not being able to get to her in time to forgive her and tell her I love her, and those dreams prompted me to re-establish contact with her because I didn't want her to die without us having made up. I had a dream a few months ago about current mentor figure having cancer and being close to death and me not knowing about it and not being able to see her before she died, but it was just that once, until last night, when I had a very vivid dream of her and my mother having cancer simultaneously and both deteriorating very rapidly and me not being able to get to either of them or chose which one to be with.

I don't usually have conscious fears about people dying, but I suppose I must have unconscious ones, since dreams are usually about things you're scared of...they are incredibly unsettling, but maybe not unsettling enough to discuss with T over the millions of other things we need to discuss, ex. our relationship, our last session, me potentially finding a new T, other stuff going on in my life right now.