Could it be that the anxiety you feel created the episode the is actually the start of an episode? Internal agitation, ruminating and lack of sleep can all be manicky symptoms. It can feel a lot like anxiety in some cases.

Maybe a mood stabilizer rather than an AP would be a good option. Not all of them make you feel flat and lazy.

Going med free can be done, but its really important to learn to recognize your patterns and symptoms. Taking really good care of yourself, too. Starting and stopping them probably isn't a great idea, unless something is prescribed PRN.

Personally, I love my meds and hope that I never have to be without them.