Been a bad week for me. My asthma has been bothering me, especially at night, so I constantly woke up with tight chest, and in the morning - hard to inhale.

Work is a bit stressful because I've been called "disorganized" , and 'not very smart' by clients when I answered the phone for another company and didn't know the answers to their questions. Also, I had to make some sales calls, and that was hard because I'm social phobic.

I applied to an insurance company for medical benefits. They told me (via email) that they don't cover medications or anything for pre-existing conditions. My meds costs me almost $300 a month. So far, I've been either doing without, or rationing them.

When I read the email, I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to get help, but nobody will help. I hate myself for having these illnesses, and i was mad at both the insurance company and at myself. I almost cried - right in my office. I even got my x-knife....

Doesnt matter.