It was somewhat out of the blue (and unfortunately timed as I was about to take a big bite of bread and cheese... )

But last night, he gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek and said something along the lines of:

"I don't want you to feel bad about your body"

... my defensive reaction was to immediately wonder what made him think of that. SHOULD I feel bad about my body? Where on earth did that statement come from????

But I waited to let him elaborate, and then he made a connection between something I had said at T earlier in the evening. We're trying to get pregnant, but I'm, well, shyer, than I used to be in bed. When we first met, I weighed about 115 lbs, and now... well, I don't. I'm not obese, but I'm nowhere close to 115 anymore. And yes, I DO feel bad about my body. I was very athletic the first 5 years we were together, and I've stopped being so in the last 2.

Anyway, he continued to say that he loves me and finds me sexy, as I am, everyday, and that he doesn't want my body image to be a barrier in our relationship.

Of course I burst into tears. That was the nicest thing he could have said.

I'm still feeling very wounded/scarred by some things that my ex-husband had said to me while we were together 8-15 years ago. In retrospect, I just didn't and never will have the body type he likes - super skinny, no breasts. That's not me. I try not to have regrets in life, but I wish I could have realized that my ex and I were simply not meant to be. He started in on my body within a month of dating and didn't relent until he divorced me 6 years later. In fact, I dropped quite a bit of weight when we separated, out of grief, and he said "see? I did you a favor by moving out". UGH.

But my (permanent) husband... I feel very blessed.

My step to better self-esteem was to find someone like him.