Was it your brother that threw you out of the family business and why? It's normal to feel low after all that you have been through. If you cant change things in the past you are beating yourself up over something that you cannot change. At least you are looking to the future with this new course. Dont loose heart! I hope that your wife has a job too so that you can share the burden.
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"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born.... and the day you find out why"
~ Mark Twain
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