I've seen a couple of therapists since 2009 and I don't know if it's their approach or my stubbornness, but I never completely clicked with most of them. There was one, however, that I felt comfortable enough with. She was a Marriage and Family Therapist who did solution focused brief therapy as well as narrative therapy. Since our first meeting, she just let me talk about anything I felt was important and let me steer where our discussions went. I felt fairly "in charge" and I kinda liked that. In spite of this "openness", I felt like her role as a facilitator fell kinda flat. Even though I was encouraged to talk about my life story and she was able to tell me things about me that other therapists didn't pick up on, I felt I needed more. More direct and practical feedback in addition to the safe environment she was able to provide for me. I stopped seeing about 4 sessions in and I stopped seeing her about a year ago.

I saw a new T recently (after dropping my old one a month ago) and I just don't like the direction she is taking me in. Prior to our intake session (my only session with her so far), I set up a brief consultation with her to ask questions about her approach and stuff. She seemed like a "perfect" fit (psychodynamic, eclectic approaches, collaborative) but during our intake, she diagnosed me fairly quickly with major depression and starting steering me towards CBT. Because of prior experience, I know CBT doesn't work for me when used alone. I just find it frustrating and like it encourages me to intellectualize my emotions even more. I did share my hesitation with using only CBT and I'm not quite sure she agreed. Now, I cancelled our scheduled appointment cause I'm scared she won't budge and let me decide what would be best for me. Overall, she was just too symptoms focused for my taste and I just don't know if she is willing to use different approaches with me.

I've been trying to think what it is that I truly want from therapy and I guess I just want to be able to talk more freely about anything I want. Additionally, I also want insight and practical feedback. So now I am wondering, is this open discussion encouraged with any specific therapeutic approach or does it depend more on the therapist's willingness? Should I think more thoroughly about what it is I need from a therapist instead? Am I over-thinking too much about approaches? I don't even know anymore.