Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
Lots of people do this i see but what is it you actually "do" that is pushing and what is you "do" that is pulling?
For example I push by trying to irritate her, being defensive, not letting her help me and I pull (away) by shutting down, being unresponsive, not letting her in, deny anything is wrong. But I also see that i try to pull her *towards* me, trying to illicit a response, in order to try to get a need met, a need that i won't admit to being there. I want her just to knowwhat it is I need, i don't feel safe asking.
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How I "push" in therapy:
Not communicating
No eye contact/looking at the floor
Holding back information
Changing the subject
Restricting her from a topic
Telling her I don't want to continue therapy with her
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How I "pull" in therapy:
Telling her that I feel like she's pushing me away
" " like she is rejecting me, abandoning me, not giving me credit
Throwing a pity party: "Everyone fights, but why do I have to fight just to live"
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I can't restrict physical contact with my T because I'll never get it again. But with other people, I do restrict physical contact when I want to "push". I also insult sometimes, but again not with my T.
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* Sometimes when I "push" it tends to pull; and sometimes when I "pull" it tends to push. Never can guarantee a reaction from anyone
