So I made an impulsive decision. Of course, I did get the opinions of important people first, but I made up my mind in less than a weeks time.

I decided to get my forearms tattooed. It's my preferred area of SI. Why? Because I'm tired of SI. I have to stop for myself; not for other people. SI is an addiction (no matter what others say), and it's controlling my life. I'm done. I want to live and live freely. So I chose some beautiful artwork to put over my scars.

I did NOT completely cover my scars. I'm not ashamed of my scars. They are a reminder of how strong I am for surviving what I've been through. But the artwork turns the pain into a thing of joy, beauty, and confidence. Instead of hiding my scar for fear of offending people, I now show my arms off proudly. And people notice the tattoos. And some have even guessed why I did it.

My T tells me every week how proud she is of me for getting the tattoos. She knows I have SI'ed other parts of my body, but I have created a barrier for my main area. I have given myself a gift and a reminder.

I went through 11 hours total of pain (they are not little tattoos). I spent $1300 total. I would be completely insane to ruin such a beautiful piece.

BTW, tattooing over fresh scars HURTS horribly; more than I was prepared for. And for those who enjoy pain; you probably won't. SI is about us being in control. When getting a tattoo, the artist is in control. So don't think that this is another avenue for you. Plus, sustaining constant pain for 5+ hours at a time is not easy for anyone...don't believe me...ask women who go through natural labor

So far it's worked. I still have the desire to SI, but I instead focus on the tattoos. I treat them by using lotions and just stare at the strokes and shading the artist did. It's enough (for me) to convince me that there are better things in life than SI.

This isn't for everyone, but maybe for some of you, it will help. Just make sure you choose a great artist and piece of art, and make sure you're okay with it being on your body forever.