Each hospitalization, some damn doctor changing meds just because.

That's not the hardest thing but it pisses me off.

I don't what the hardest thing is. Probably the unpredictability of the illness, and feeling dragged around by it. The burned bridges, the stigma, the whole damn thing.

My wife has to be tired of the fallout of my moods, talking about them, worrying about them or waiting for them to shift when things are going well.

Just writing about this is causing me to feel sad and get that falling feeling in my stomach.

This disorder sucks.