I no longer enjoy sex like I used to. My prolactin level is high because I'm on risperdal. It is the only thing keeping me from psychosis. So I have to stay on it. He can't suck my nipples anymore because milk comes out of them, from the prolactin levels being high. It takes a long time for me to O, and today it didn't even feel good having sex with my husband. Just felt some pressure. I feel so depressed about it. I cried after he tried to get me to O. I stopped him and cried. I know it could be from past sexual abuse and assaults I have had in my life. I feel like I failed at sex today. It isn't often anyway because his drive is low. Maybe once every 2 weeks. But when theres a chance for it I at least try. But lately I don't even think I could get pleasure. I am so dry too. I think risperdal is hurting my life a lot. Depressed even after exercising. Skipping classes at school. Can't enjoy sex. Lactating. Weight gain. Yet I am so scared to go off it, because I'll have psychosis. I don't see my pdoc till JUNE. My husband would be so mad if I didn't take my meds. He said he would call the cops if I refused to take my meds. Rightly so, every time I skip I get paranoia and delusions. I am so less of a woman right now. I have PCOS too, and that causes acne, weight gain, period mess up, I have an IUD, and don't get my period. Which that part is great. I am tired of having these woman issues though. I am tired of not being able to lose weight as easily. I am tired of being 284 pounds. I am tired of having 10 pound breasts. Tired of my bra not fitting right. Tired of wearing guy clothes just to get comfortable and have it fit. I am disgusted by myself a lot.