Quote:
Originally Posted by 11losin_it_all11
I often find people have different experiences with social anxiety (or social phobia?). However, I also find that many just seem very different from mine and I don't know why.
I am extremely uncomfortable talking to strangers. I will not answer the phone, I will not order my own take out, I will not join groups, I will not "hang out" with people... I just avoid all situations that involve me interacting with people. Then, in public places, when people look at me my thoughts fly and I simply presume they're mocking me. I'm constantly avoiding social situations and partly, I'm okay with it because I don't like people that much. However, at school I will offer my answers (if I'm 100% sure that they're correct) or share my opinion.
I'm just very isolated. I do leave my house (I'm forced to). Yet, honestly, if it were up to me, I wouldn't. So I guess in a way, I'm comfortable in my ways even though they aren't positive ones.
However, I hear of people who have social anxiety yet they'll go out and make friends. They'll be in groups and interact with people in the groups.
Am I just extremely avoidant ? Or are they just very good at coping or maybe they're just not shy? I guess, I'm just curious if being outgoing and having social anxiety mix?
I'm just curious  Sharing your personal experience would be great to hear as well! |
Hi 11losin_it_all11,
Welcome to the forum! You have come to the right place to seek answers and by your being here, you are taking the first steps to gain insight and understanding to your condition.
"I am extremely uncomfortable talking to strangers. I will not answer the phone, I will not order my own take out, I will not join groups, I will not "hang out" with people... I just avoid all situations that involve me interacting with people."
I can relate partially to the above statement. I am able to answer the phone and order takeout, but I do have a tendency to avoid joining groups and even attending my kids' school parties because I obsess over small talk with Mommies I don't know very well. I also worry about being "judged" by them.
I too, always wonder what complete strangers are thinking about me. This is particularly bad in very crowded places, like the local Costco. I find the crowds very off putting sometimes. And, that's a shame...because I love shopping there.
You say you don't like people. Have you examined the reasons why this may be? You know, a lot of times I feel the same, but I've come to realize, I need these people around me, even if I don't like to admit it.
The older I've become, I realize it was me all along who brought about the outcomes with others. I used to think, everybody else was the culprit. I am currently working on myself, and hope to eventually feel complete comfort in my skin.
I am glad to hear you're speaking out in class and answering questions. That is great! Keep at it.
My advice to you is that, if you're not 100% satisfied living the life that you live, that you should research as much as you can on Social Anxiety, Phobia and Avoidant personality. Seek help through a therapist. Operate out of your comfort zone but take baby steps. EVERYDAY.
"Am I just extremely avoidant ? Or are they just very good at coping or maybe they're just not shy? I guess, I'm just curious if being outgoing and having social anxiety mix? "
Both, to the above statement. You're avoidant because you probably feel like you haven't developed the "skills" needed to feel comfortable in your social interactions. People can overcome Social Anxiety if they work on it. Many shy and Socially anxious people have overcome their condition. They have to in order to achieve their dreams. People like, Jennifer Lawrence, Johnny Depp, Abe Lincoln and Kim Basinger. And, many others!
I am at an age, that I wished I had worked on my condition sooner. I am currently working with a therapist now, and starting to understand why I am the way I am. There are many reasons from my childhood that has caused it. I believe it's never too late to become what you might've been.
Good Luck on your self-discovery!
~HT