My husband is the most wonderful and caring man I have ever known. Since the day he met me, he has re-wired his life to be with me (including selling his home at a loss and leaving an established practice to start a new one across the state). He works 6 days a week, and then helps around the house when he gets home. He is polite and sweet and everything a woman could ask for.
When we were dating, I was aware of him renting porn at his house, and figured he had been a bachelor for a while before meeting me, so didn't think much of it. I thought when we lived together, that wouldn't be necessary (but didn't actually voice this thought to him). Since moving in together 8 months ago, our sex life has dwindled. I've heard that is normal because of the every day stresses, but it was a noticeable change in the intimacy of our love making that made me start to doubt myself.
He has always struggled to climax when we are together... DE is what the pros call it. I was concerned at first, but he told me that it was a problem in every relationship he ever had. I do feel the need to mention here that I am 5'7" tall and a solid 150lbs normally (big boobs, small waist); His ex's were ALL under 5'2" and very petite.
Well, despite the lack of intimacy in bed, I found out I was pregnant We are both very happy about it and can't wait for the new addition to our family! As is to be expected in the first trimester, my energy levels were absolutely sacked and my libido suffered. I have now entered the 2nd trimester and am feeling great.
I found out earlier this week that my husband was still renting pornos on tv. When I talked to the cable company to dispute the charges (We hadn't rented any movies as far as I knew), they told me that there had been adult movies for several months (I barely look through the bills, and my hubby pays them). I figured it was because of my being pregnant, and confronted him as to why he didn't tell me he was renting videos... It would have saved me some embarrassment! He apologized for not telling me, and that was that...
Until my curiosity got me the next day and I talked to an online rep about it. I was told he had been renting movies on the account since July (the month we moved in together) and when they told me the titles, I freaked. He rents 3 to 5 videos per month on average and they are ALL about teeny little barely 18 girls ("91lb Newbie Squealers", "4'11" Squealers", "I Love Little Boobs", etc). When I confronted him about it, he felt it a personal attack, I think.
I told him that the reason it bothers me is that I can't ever be the fantasy he has programmed himself to orgasm to. I had hope to see freaky fetish stuff.... anything that I could maybe be a part of. I can't be petite, though. I just can't.
I know that he loves me... How do I get over this awful feeling that he's just not attracted to me?