first off i just want to say im sorry for you loss. my grandam died back in 2010 and i still cant get over it. i have experienced trouble crying or trying to cry when i need to or should be crying. ive tried watching really sad movies or listening to really sad songs but when that doesn't work i cut. i used to drink alone in my room and get really drunk but i was able to stop and im so glad but now i still have this cutting thing i do to work on. i know its hard but i also know its possible but it may take awhile just don't quit. I journel and sometimes that helps me get my anger out and also get a new prospective on things. is that something you do/would like to try?
aslo you should get martial arts gloves and a bag and use that everytime you need to plus you will get a good workout too.