Wow thanks for the responses!

I hope I didn't make him seem like the worst person ever.
His major flaws are those mentioned : that he had ended up mentioning the ex endlessly in the first 1.5 yrs in too much detail
and that he threatened to leave me.

He has come to some therapy sessions with me and understands that what he is doing is wrong. I know I should have left during the initial 1.5 years but I guess I was struggling from more self esteem issues than I thought at the time.

Anyway, I'm not handling well the even slightest mention of her from anyone. I feel damaged from all the threats that he will leave me. So let's say in a perfect world, he honours his promise to stop threatening to leave me but I still feel this way. He has not threatened in the past few weeks but I still freak out every time thinking its going to happen again.

I understand that people do not like hearing about their boyfriend's exes and all that but I don't the way my mind is handling it is normal. It has become something of an obsession and I have true hatred for her.

If you guys don't mind, could you suggest what I should do to calm myself down? To get over this? It's not the worst thing in the world but during a freakout or a panic attack I feel like it is. Do you think you can help me please?

I'm trying to avoid breaking up with him because apart from all this (yes, I know its a lot) he is a good guy to me. He does listen to my problems and makes sure to help in anything if I need help.