Hi Ambra. I'm very sorry you are feeling like this at the moment, I know all too well that it is not a nice place to be.

When you said you felt like you'd opened up a Pandora's Box, it really caught my eye and struck a chord. In my last session with my former T, I gave her a card with butterflies on. I didn't know the meaning of butterflies consciously, but I think in my subconscious I did; she told me about the legend of Pandora's Box, and how when Pandora opened it, a lot of horrible nasty creatures came out. But the last to come out was a butterfly, and it symbolized hope. It was the most beautiful thing she could've said to me.

I'm telling you this because I do really think that there is hope for you; it won't be the end of the world, even though it might feel like it now.

Your problems are not disgusting or silly at all. I felt exactly the same as you do now. I would strongly suggest that you write down how you feel about all of this on paper or type it up for your therapist to read in your next session. You can write about absolutely anything you want. It will definitely help her to understand and to help you make the most of your sessions and feel more comfortable in opening up and talking about difficult and scary topics.

I think anyone who tries so hard and sticks with it, even when it gets really tough, like you have been, is ready for therapy; if you weren't, surely you wouldn't have gone back after that first session? It's good that you are trying so hard to overcome the struggles you're facing - you will get through this. You have shown such strength already, and I am so proud of you that you've been able to share this with us.

If you want/need to talk to someone, you can message me if you'd like

Remember, we are always here to help and support you - you are not alone.