I understand. My dad is is a total Asshat. I'm pretty sure he is undiagnosed BP, he Definitely has PTSD (He is a VietNam Vet. I can't tell you how many times I've seen him wake up screaming). I also think he suffered Fetal alcohol Syndrome. His mother was a raging alcoholic....

My dad is a bully. He can be extremely generous, but will take everything away if you don't do exactly what he wants.

I spent all of High school and most of my 20's trying to please him. Now, screw him. I can see that he is a miserable old man. He has no friends and is being used by his mistress.

He will die alone and unloved.

You can't make someone love you. It's so hard to realize. Heck, maybe he does love you and he just doesn't understand. Keep your head down and get out when you can.