Hi. Take a deep breath. There is nothing wrong with being gay. I don't care who tells you otherwise. I don't care if every single person in the world tells your otherwise. There is nothing wrong with being gay. I'm so sorry that your life is so difficult. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and your family being unsupportive and your best friend/crush being a horrible homophobe. That must be very difficult to handle.

At the same time, it's okay to masturbate 3 times a day. It's okay to wake up in the morning and need to masturbate. Hell, it's okay to rp sex online. I do it sometimes. It is exciting because you do feel useful and desirable but you never have to face the possibility of having a real sexual encounter. If you want me to be totally honest, I'm a straight woman who in the past has pretended to be a gay man and rped gay sex with gay men on completely anonymous forums that don't have a picture option.

The problem is that you feel shame when you do it, you only feel like you have value when you do it, and it is interfering with your life. You wouldn't be thrown in a hospital for being addicted to the feeling of being important to someone else which is what your sex addiction seems to resolve around. I think you might benefit from therapy to be honest. Not a doctor. A therapist. Not a sex therapist. A regular therapist. Just someone you can feel safe to talk to that can help you sort out all of these raw feelings you have concerning yourself, your sexuality, your parents, your sister, and suicide. It can be hard opening up to a therapist at first, but with time it gets easier. I don't know if you need to be medicated. If you do, it wouldn't be because of an inappropriate sex drive or anything like that. You have a lot of things on your plate and deserve to have someone to talk to. I wouldn't recommend talking to your parents about this though haha.

Good luck to you.