
Mar 09, 2014, 01:44 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Denial.
Before everyone jumps, let me explain. If paradigms of response are culturally determined, then denial is largely a function of the internalization of cultural norms. American culture makes denial an increasingly dysfunctional response because more and more it is seen as not supportive of, and a violation of, other valued cultural norms.
The culture I work in shares no such response to denial. Denial is everywhere and is often the most functional response to any number of situations. Other norms are valued more highly, and denial can be in service to those values.
As far as the idea of some cultures putting more value on communal support instead of therapy, that is certainly true, though not in the culture I am in. What appears to an outsider as a benign culture of community is actually a structure in support of conformity. It's not about support, but about control.
A traditional and commonly used punishment for children as young as 4 years old is to be locked out of their home. The child is effectively shunned, his/her inevitable screams ignored. This can go on for hours. A lot of American children faced with the same punishment would take off, explore their environment. These children do not do so. They continue to scream, bang on windows, cry for hours. In a culture that depends upon conformity as an organizing principle, no one can be self-reliant. To be an individual is not a good thing. So to be denied your place with your family, peers, group is psychologically terrifying. The perceived loss of such connection is to not exist or survive. I don't think most of us would view this benignly as a sense of supportive community.
Corporal punishment is not a norm and is seen as abuse. But denial of food is another common punishment. Basically punishments take the form of removal of the privileges of connection, shelter, nourishment, the protection of the group.
This is a culture that places great value on authority figures and institutions, not surprisingly, so therapy has a respected place. But therapy largely concerns itself with helping people conform, rather than the sort of "finding yoursel/honoring the self" mantra that has become a cornerstone of American therapy.
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My mother did this to me once (in -15 degree weather in February when I didn't have my winter gloves or hat) and I was sitting and crying outside the door for an hour or so before realizing that I had other options...but I see your point. So then if denial is the root of it, then trauma stems from not being in denial? Because for me, that incident was traumatic because I can remember the fear I felt and connect with that and realize (sort of) that it wasn't okay. But maybe in the culture you're describing, it's just a cultural norm, so there's the denial of that pain? Is that what you mean, FKM?
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