Doing something out of line and not being able to control myself. The delusional thoughts, and intrusive thoughts which tell me to harm myself. The depression which completely floors me - fortunately it's not came around yet. I suppose as well family - who aren't used to seeing me in one mood or the other as I try to hide it, or it's too recent for them to have properly seen - telling me I'm not ill, and that I'm making it up/am too eager to put a label on myself.