Hello, thank you for your reply. I am glad that its really not in my head. I am sure that I am not suffering from PTSD- because I dont really fit with the other symptoms, weirdly considering the history of the abuse.

Ah, sorry about not explaining what is a collectivist society. There are two types of society: individualism and a collectivist and i am explaining this from a social psychology perspective... I copied this off a website From alley dog's website:

Collectivism, which is the opposite of individualism, focuses on the priorities of the group and not the individual. In a collectivist society, people identify themselves with the goals of the group much more so than the goals of individuals. Example of a collectivist society: Japan.

hope this makes sense?