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ForeverDamned said:
i dont know what to do with myself.... i just made a appointment with my p-doc, for monday.... but that seems so far away.... i havnt seen him in a few months..... and i havnt been on my meds in a few months as well. I'm just lost in a fog. cutting myself seems like it would be a good release right now.... i havnt done it in several months, do to a few obligations in my life currently....

i thought i was doing something i really wanted.... but now that has turned into an obligation.... not something i WANT to do anymore.... how did that happen? I was so excited at first. i thought i was finally getting my life back together... but Nooooo.

I have been trying my very hardest to stay out of the hospital and to keep from cutting.... but i dont know how much longer i can take it

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Ugh, it's so often that I set up things when I'm in a different state of mind.... I get really excited about them, motivated, positive... and then my mood changes and I end up dreading that I ever made the commitment at all.... Right now graduate school and my upcoming internship seem more like "I've made my bed, now I have to lie in it." It used to be something I couldn't wait for, the beginning of my career. Now it's just..... blah.

I hope you are doing okay. I can understand why you would feel like cutting-- but it's wonderful that you haven't.