There is so much wisdom here. I was the one who left. Emotionally, to leave him was easy because he had treated me and the kids so badly for so many years that it was a relief to leave. On the flip side, leaving a marriage and a family is hard. I think I may have put off my grief for that and it is showing up now...more than a year later. Right now, I am working on putting myself together to be a whole person on my own. I was correct to leave him because he is a negative draining person...but that does not mean that there are not other repercussions. I hope that we can be civil someday. For the kids. And I am speaking as a mother of adults.

M