I Hate the way my life is. I have no idea how to change it and i am afraid of change. today we were watchin a movie and a little was out and my mom's boyfriend came. we had to switch fast. they dont know we are mpd and do not beleive that there is anything wrong with us. even when we si as a child. my mom bf is really nice and we get along with him but it is hard to be around her with out feeling hurt and angry. she is trying to make up for all the crap she did but it just doesnt seem to work. things were not a mess all the time growing up just that there were less of the good things that happend then the bad. so i try to focus on the good. but there isn't much of it. i feel depressed and nervous now. what do i do? plus we are looking for an apartment when may comes. im nervous about that.i have thoughts of suicide all the time. My therapist nows.she is trying to help. i feel so lost and alone . like i am the only person like this.