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WinterRose said:
I know for me it's a fear of being abandoned. I'm afraid that if I really let myself have a close relationship - they'll go away for some reason. Maybe when they know me they'll change their mind. I have a really sore spot about being left behind, rejected, or abandoned. Makes it really hard to risk. I'm not even sure how to get to the deep kind of relationship that I want.

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Wow, WinterRose, this is exactly what I was trying to say! I've always worried that when people got to know me, they'd see how boring I really am and go away. Or that no one would want to get to know me in the first place. I'm slowing getting past this but it's not easy. I'm probably going to move across the country in the next few months and while my best friend is in that area, I won't know another soul and that's daunting. It's so much easier to sit on my couch and surf than go out and talk to someone.

So my question to you all is what do you do to make this better? I never really pinned it down to chosing unavailable folks until recently. It's especially true of people I think I'm romantically interested in. They are inevitably unavailable, I think now, because that way it doesn't hurt when they reject me. But that doesn't work, so I really want to work on this too.