I have an exam I need to be studying for, but I've just been sitting here bawling for over an hour now. I've done this every single day for months now. I need help, but I can't afford the help because I can't find a job.

I've been applying to so many places, but no one will hire me. Well, Walgreens offered to hire me, but they wanted to pay me $7.50 an hour. I can't afford my bills making $7.50 an hour. I don't know why it has to be so hard to find someone willing to pay me a living wage. I have a college degree and a clean record, but I lack experience and don't have the best availability since I'm a student (post-graduate pre-medical studies.)

The fact that no one will hire me just keeps reminding me of how useless I am as a human being and is severely stressing me out. I'm scared of what will happen to me if I don't find a way to make money soon. I can't keep paying my rent, my car payment, my car insurance, for my food, my school books, etc. without money. I'd honestly rather be homeless than go back and live with my dad. See, my nightmare of a sister lives with my dad, and she's disgusting...as in, the health department is currently investigating the house because of the disgusting things she does around the house. On top of that, when I lived there, she would scream at me and tell me how fat and ugly I was all day long...I was having multiple panic attacks every day living there because of her. I CAN'T move back there. Just when I finally got my own apartment and moved away from her, I'm looking at having to move back there because I can't find a job to keep living here.

Another big thing is that I have a crooked tooth that makes me hate myself so much. I know how much of an eye sore it is and that it's the only thing people notice when they see me, and my self confidence would be improved so much if I could get it fixed, but I can't afford to. I'm so tired of hiding away from the world and never smiling because of how my teeth look. And please don't feed me a line about how people don't notice or don't care because I know they do. I've had guys turn me down and tell me how ugly I was once they saw my crooked tooth. That's another thing, I'm almost 25 years old and have never dated anybody...nobody wants to date me because of how stupid and useless I am and how I'm not even attractive enough to be used for sex because of my tooth.

On top of that, I have medical problems I really need to address but can't because, again, no one will hire me at a pay rate high enough so that I can afford my rent, let alone my other bills and my medical expenses. Particularly alaming is that I've been having really bad chest pain for a good while now. The doctor ordered a CT scan of my chest, but I have to call and cancel the appointment tomorrow because I can't afford the test.

Meanwhile, I'm sucking at being a pre-medical student because I'm spending too much time stressing out over money and crying to find the extracurricular activities needed to get into med school. So basically, I'm wasting my time taking these classes for nothing because I'll never get into med school without impressive extracurriculars anyway. It's doubtful that I'll even be able to finish taking my classes because I won't be able to afford to finish or even to stay living in the town where my school is located. I'm trying so hard to pave a future for myself so that I'll never have to be jobless and poor like this again, but I need money to pull it off.

I don't know what to do. I'm just holding on for as long as I can until I run out of money, and once I reach that point (which will be very soon), I see no viable options for what I can do. I tried going to my school's counseling center to talk to somebody, but they referred me to someone outside of the school because they refuse to see part-time students at the counseling center. I don't have money to see the psychologist they sent me to (or anyone else), so I can't talk to anybody.

I have no friends and no support from my family. My family rejects me; I don't know why they hate me so much. Right now, my dad just bought my adult sister and brother new iPhones. Meanwhile, I have an old phone that looks like it was made in 2002, and he won't lend me money to take care of my teeth. It's not that I feel entitled to my dad's money, but if he can hand my siblings tons of it to buy things like iPhones, I don't get why he won't help me with my medical problems. I feel like not even my own family gives a heck about me or what happens to me.

I've tried for so long to find solutions to my problems, but I'm out of ideas. I don't know what's wrong with me that no one thinks I'm worth hiring or keeping me around as a friend, but I'm so stressed, depressed, scared and lonely and just don't know what to do. I wish I could find a way to just disappear or stay asleep all of the time so I don't have to worry about my problems, but I can't.