Yes, you got it. So when I was married to my second H, I had great orgasms with him, but still masturbated alone, with fantasies about the man I loved before him (Jacob, in my story). My second H (I lived with him for 12 years) once caught me doing that and was extremely distraught. Extremely. Now that I am finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together, I realize that exH2 was, in fact, like exH1, in that he found that horrifying (he himself had no fantasy life whatsoever, no masturbation, and when I left for a summer job less than 5 months into meeting him - the summer job had been already arranged when I met him - he later was very upset that I left him for the summer, even though I flew in for the 4th of July, because he absolutely needed my naked warm body next to him in bed - he did not have the ability to IMAGINE things). In other words, he expected the woman he was married to to never masturbate thinking of somebody else. I did feel guilty, and tried to conjure up fantasies about H2, and was successful at that. Right now, I do not feel guilty - I have more than exhausted what might be a reasonable lifetime allotment of guilt so I do not plan to ever feel guilty, but it makes me sad to think that I would have to do what you suggest for the rest of my life. It is otherwise a good suggestion, though. If what you were suggesting was that I fantasize during sex with other men. Or did I get you wrong?