I am absolutely not wired like that. I have no special places that work regardless of who is touching them. If I have really strong feelings for a man, I would get an orgasm if he barely touches my hand or speaks my name into the phone with a deep feeling on his end.

If I do not have such feelings, no amount of "stimuli" such as clitoral or nipple rubbing would get me off. In fact (and this is part of my current problem and part of the reason why I am looking for solutions), attempts to arouse me are irritating to me. With the current bf, as long as he touches my body for his pleasure, be it intercourse, fondling my breasts or buttocks, etc., I have absolutely no issues. He is a wonderful man and I highly appreciate his presence in my life and am very happy that he finds sex with me so joyous. If he does two intercourses in a row, without a refractory period, I think to myself: "Great. A man is almost 50 but as giddy as a teenage boy - way to go." But as soon as he starts rubbing me in an effort to advance me towards orgasm, that is when it gets really sad. And, I get irritated.

So my body/mind mix very clearly responds to feelings on my end, sometimes feelings on the part of the man, and ideallly a combination of the two, but not to mechanical stimuli - I am not set up like this. I am surprised that some people are set up like that, because then it becomes almost like cranking a mechanical device. But I was, before starting to orgasm with a a man for the first time (the would be first H), masturbating really beautifully without any fantasy (I did not know about fantasy back then, being around 20) twice a day - in the morning in the shower (I would take the shower head off and direct a strong stream of hot water at my vulva - great orgasms) and in the evening in bed, with my finger. No fantasy whatsoever, but great orgasms. I want to go back to that!!