I know I as a person havent really changed, I've always been quirky but well liked, funny and outgoing but it seems recently people just give me a wide berth.

I don't know what to do anymore, I know I am not being myself, its a deliberate action on my part because it seems that where I live now me being me is just not 'acceptable'

I moved around quite a bit over my life but had great friends in my 20's which I had to leave when I moved, then again great friends in my 30's but again moved.

I have been where I live now for almost 7 years, I have got involved in many things in the community, School Parents Association, Scouts, the local Gym but it seems at this age ( 40 ) almost everyone my age is well settled and I don't seem to fit in.

I'm very open minded, have piercings, love Rock Music and I love my ps3/ps4 and gaming online... not quite the Rural Irish 'Mammy' I'm surrounded by.
I get on very well with my neighbours but they seem to find me 'too much'.
I am married and have a son but they both have Aspergers so like to keep to themselves.

It seems since my official diagnosis people think Im either crazy or see my mental health issues as a weakness or both.

I am so lonely ATM

I have had one good/close online friend for the last 10 years but that was far from healthy. He is a narcissistic sociopath who I now realise has systematically pulled me away from any other people I met through gaming etc and over the past few days I have finally found the strength to break the ties and now can see the damage that realationship has done. I have pulled away from people, turned offers down in favour of gaming with him and now I guess they have given up trying to engage with me.

I feel like there is this girl inside me who is screaming to be heard who just wants someone to chat with, to be heard and have fun.

I thought my DX was a great thing but slowly I am seeing that maybe it is ruining who I am