It would more like being sexually abused and seeing it being done to someone else.

As for choices and consent. The BS part of BDSM is how I am wired. and for that matter how my partner is wired. We both have different reason for it never the less it is what it is.

There was a brief time when we thought it may not be necessary, to some degree that is true. However that was in error as the need for both of us to engage is still there for both of us. Frankly for me it keeps me in the moment other wise I drift. It allows me to stay focused on my partner.

My thinking about reevaluating it has to do with the core reason of why I need to do this from time to time. I suppose I will address this in therapy at sone point as I am sure it is connected to attachment and bonding issues I have.



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