Ok, so after a long time of just being in limbo with arguments constantly arising I finally said something.

He sent me a thing from wiki: how to be in a successful relationship. I read it and we both agreed we do none of it. I then just started to pour. I told him I don't like the way he speaks to me which is why I get defensive and that somedays I'd rather do this (parent) on my own because at least I could control my happiness. He said that is sad, and I said I totally agreed but I'm so angry and hurt by him. That I blame my sons prematurity on me too but he is ok and healthy and beautiful. That aside you (my husband) has said a lot of rude and hurtful things that I know you meant. I have huge wounds and they aren't healing no worse no better... Just in survival mode. After all this was said I feel relieved. I also told him I know I have become witch like and that it's a two way road it's just how I feel. But I came home tonight after work and can see how bad I have hurt him. I feel awful.... But I feel like he needed to know. Was that wrong, thoughts or next steps please?