Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
How one can get an orgasm while being touched NOT consensually is completely beyond my understanding. There is this great scholastic tool called an input-output machine. It can be used to explain the concept of functions to young children, without ever using the word "function". Say, instead of writing f(x)=2x+1 we would say:
"If you put X into the I/O machine, what would happen first is that X would be doubled and what would happen next is that 1will be added to the result.
Let us try putting numbers into the I/O machine and see what the machine spits out. If the input is 2, the output is 5. If the input is 10, the output 21."
The input/output machine is completely predictable. If we wait for a week and place 2 into the machine described above, it would spit out 5. If we repeat it in a month, same result.
What you are trying to describe - having special places on the body that, if "activated", spit out the expected output, no matter what - be the touch consensual/non-consensual, or be attraction/attachment/feeling present or not, - seems to be similar to an I/O machine. I can definitely see positive aspects to having the body respond to stimuli in known, predictable ways, but, again, it does not describe me.
Some time ago I learned that Kim Basinger advocated for teaching women who find themselves in a situation that places them at high risk of rape to give blowjobs because it is much safer. I would not try to find a link because putting those terms into a search engine would produce porn. Anyway, years before I learned of such an approach by Kim Basinger, I figured it out on my own when I got myself into a dangerous situation and realized that I had to take the least risk, and I quickly did it (while in a moving vehicle). The recipient was at his most peaceful after that and stopped the vehicle to express his appreciation, and I used the opportunity to get out of the vehicle and rush to the subway station. I felt a little shaken and a little dirty, but not too much, and by the time bf3/h1 fetched me from the subway station, I could converse as if nothing had happened.
So did I orgasm from giving the guy a blow job? No. But with H2, not always but often, I would experience an "emphathetic orgasm" while and after fellating him (he also had very vocal orgasms, so it was probably easier for me to go along with his cue, plus due to frequent sex over a long span of time I knew his body responses - every twitch - very well, which probably enabled me to almost feel his orgasm).
I would never say that I gave the husband blowjobs - I fellated him. I would say that I gave a blowjob to get out of what could have been a really bad rape case. I would not say, ever, that I fellated that guy who could have raped me. The linguistic distinctions help underscore that although the mechanical movements might have been the same, their meaning and feeling (or lack thereof) behind them wasn't. If the I/O machine scenario applied to me, I would have felt empathy when giving a blowjob to get out of a worse rape, but this idea makes me laugh.
Again, I definitely see value in having spots on the body that give a predictable, reliable response no matter the circumstances.
|
Okay, but relationships and sex is not mathematical or predictable to that extent. You can’t intellectualize it like that and you can’t use a system of mathematical equations to determine what will and will not give someone an orgasm.
When I said if you touch me in the right places, I’ll orgasm regardless of consent, I didn’t mean that those places are set in stone predictable. I mean that if you managed to locate whatever it was that would physically trip me off, I would have an orgasm. The “right places” aren’t like just something I have within me. My body feels a little different every day and I respond a little differently to different things.
Trying to prove that you can’t have an orgasm from rape is just incorrect and offensive to anyone who has been raped. It implies that they wanted it if they experienced any sort of “pleasure” or it says that what they felt didn’t happen when on the inside, feeling something “pleasurable” from rape is very confusing and very horrible.
I don’t really understand the semantics discussion at the end because I find the word “fellate” ridiculous and the word “blowjob” to be nonoffensive. It’s a personal thing. Also, you can’t exactly compare what you went through to vaginal rape. Yes, it was a bad situation and I’m so sorry you felt like you had to do that in order to protect yourself. I wish it didn’t have to get that far. However, vaginal rape is very different because it involves doing physical actions that could potentially be pleasurable for you. Giving someone head is only potentially pleasurable on a psychological level whereas the action involved in vaginal intercourse could be pleasurable both physically and psychologically. There was no possibility that you could have had a physical orgasm from being giving head to a guy when you would have preferred not to.
Orgasms, particularly female orgasms are very personal and very “touchy” for lack of a better word. Some people can only get off to certain ideas, actions, and fantasies. Perhaps you require being in love to orgasm with someone. I can get off to a variety of different things, for example, I can get off by just urinating without doing anything else or even planning on getting off before doing peeing. I only share this to demonstrate how different people are sexually and lumping people in general groups is really not prudent especially when talking about sex. Your assumption that women in “true love” can only orgasm to people they are in love with is assuming that everyone’s mind works the same way yours does. What interests me the most out of all of this is that if you really believe that, then why haven’t you asked the question “am I still in love with my ex?”. It would stand to reason that if you can’t orgasm in this relationship and you think that women who are in true love can only orgasm to thoughts or actions of their beloved that the reason you can’t orgasm is because you are still in true love with the last person who gave you an orgasm.
I'd prefer to raise this. You can't psychologically orgasm with someone that you aren't in love with. A physical orgasm with no psychological aspects results in a "...that was it?" phenomenon and a psychological orgasm with no physical stimulus is confusing as hell.