I think there may be a solution if the time away is what he needs ultimately. If you come to an agreement to figure out how much is fair, and you give him that time, whether it be via a job or otherwise where he doesn't have to deal with all of it, he needs to come to the table and do his part and help you out for the rest of the time. it can't be this thing where he is making excuses and reasons to be away and make that 90% of the time and think the marriage is ok. Also, if he works with you on that, it's only fair that you get your alone time even if it's minimal as it sounds like being with your kids isn't nearly as bad of a stressor for you. Still you deserve the same 'escape' at times too. This is the compromise that i think would work but again, dependent on if he's willing to work with you on this.