Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
Okay, but relationships and sex is not mathematical or predictable to that extent. You can’t intellectualize it like that and you can’t use a system of mathematical equations to determine what will and will not give someone an orgasm.
When I said if you touch me in the right places, I’ll orgasm regardless of consent, I didn’t mean that those places are set in stone predictable. I mean that if you managed to locate whatever it was that would physically trip me off, I would have an orgasm. The “right places” aren’t like just something I have within me. My body feels a little different every day and I respond a little differently to different things.
Trying to prove that you can’t have an orgasm from rape is just incorrect and offensive to anyone who has been raped. It implies that they wanted it if they experienced any sort of “pleasure” or it says that what they felt didn’t happen when on the inside, feeling something “pleasurable” from rape is very confusing and very horrible.
I don’t really understand the semantics discussion at the end because I find the word “fellate” ridiculous and the word “blowjob” to be nonoffensive. It’s a personal thing. Also, you can’t exactly compare what you went through to vaginal rape. Yes, it was a bad situation and I’m so sorry you felt like you had to do that in order to protect yourself. I wish it didn’t have to get that far. However, vaginal rape is very different because it involves doing physical actions that could potentially be pleasurable for you. Giving someone head is only potentially pleasurable on a psychological level whereas the action involved in vaginal intercourse could be pleasurable both physically and psychologically. There was no possibility that you could have had a physical orgasm from being giving head to a guy when you would have preferred not to.
Orgasms, particularly female orgasms are very personal and very “touchy” for lack of a better word. Some people can only get off to certain ideas, actions, and fantasies. Perhaps you require being in love to orgasm with someone. I can get off to a variety of different things, for example, I can get off by just urinating without doing anything else or even planning on getting off before doing peeing. I only share this to demonstrate how different people are sexually and lumping people in general groups is really not prudent especially when talking about sex. Your assumption that women in “true love” can only orgasm to people they are in love with is assuming that everyone’s mind works the same way yours does. What interests me the most out of all of this is that if you really believe that, then why haven’t you asked the question “am I still in love with my ex?”. It would stand to reason that if you can’t orgasm in this relationship and you think that women who are in true love can only orgasm to thoughts or actions of their beloved that the reason you can’t orgasm is because you are still in true love with the last person who gave you an orgasm.
I'd prefer to raise this. You can't psychologically orgasm with someone that you aren't in love with. A physical orgasm with no psychological aspects results in a "...that was it?" phenomenon and a psychological orgasm with no physical stimulus is confusing as hell.
|
I had a vaginal acquaintance rape and did not have any good feelings from it. I was infuriated that I had let it happen (because, you know, a neighbor/classmate/friend who had always been so nice and helpful... not your typical monster guy) and later let him know how furious I was via the tone of my voice, although, unfortunately and I regret it, I did not spell it all out in words. So based on my experience, no, I could not see how anything can be pleasurable from a vaginal rape either; it is more unpleasant because of the lack of control (you control blowjobs). Point taken about your personal dislike of the term "fellatio"/"fellate". I very much like it because if does not contain the word "job". If you have feelings for a man, than doing that thing should not be perceived as a "job", right? A "job" is something you are not particularly keen on doing but have to do due to circumstances.
I am confused when you referred to my ex. I have had a few. I tried to use alphanumerics to denote them.
I have no places on the body, even elusive, even migrating or finicky (="yes" today, "no" tomorrow, or "yes" with guyA but "no" with guyB, or "yes" during windy weather and "no" during thunderstroms), that would behave the way you describe yours. I wish I had. I find the idea of orgasming from peeing very lovely, but the closest I came was watching my exH2 pee after sex because it brought us even closer. I did not do it as a rule, but on a couple of occasions when I did, I very much liked it.
"Trying to prove that you can’t have an orgasm from rape is just incorrect and offensive to anyone who has been raped." - I have been raped without having orgasms, and it is not offensive to me, and since I am included in the set of people who have been raped,
"anyone" does not hold true anymore. I was not trying to prove it; I was expressing that I could not comprehend how that would happen. There are a great many things that I cannot comprehend. Say, the garden variety porn - tab A goes into slot B and then leaves the slot B and then goes into it again and then leaves it again. Then more of the same but the pace changes. The vocalization accomapanying this fascinating and highly unusual scene are male panting and female squealing many frequencies above what I would normally expect from sexually aroused women. So to me it seems stupid and extremely boring, and I cannot comprehend how it can be arousing (but yes, I can comprehend how it can be entertaining). A great many people enjoy that, and I personally know some of them who are brilliant men (more than
'clearly not stupid', but outright and positively brilliant), and they tried to explain to me that this close-up rawness is what men like, but I still cannot comprehend it. That I cannot comrehend it does not make it offensive, right? I simply do not comprehend it.
In the rape examples, I can see how a woman who has resigned herself to the rape may feel pleasurable sensations, and if that is the case, I cannot see why she should feel in any way bad about it. I was talking more about fighting rape - trying to get out of it. When you fight something, you go into the crisis mode, ie you only do what is absolutely necessary to do, like a triage ER nurse who would not take unnecessary steps while being under unrelenting time pressure. So in that crisis mode, to the best of my understanding, all unnecessary processes stop running, and that includes processes of feeling pleasure. If a woman does not fight but has to go through the rape, feeling pleasure actually seems to be the smartest solution under the situation. I was only talking about fighting, be it physical fighting, screaming, threatening, or performing sexual acts to get out of a worse thing ASAP. All of those were typical crisis responses, and crisis responses are characterized by utmost economy - the minimum that needs to be done gets done.