That sounds like the inner workings of mania to me. I went through the same exact thing years ago as well. I always thought someone was out to get me, although I never thought they could get in my head, I didn't have THAT vivid of imagination. No one can get in your head and access your thoughts, its you doing it and you have to be strong.

The meds may seem like poison, but you do need them. Maybe some adjustments need to made though. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon