I'm ideal in the sense that I'm responsible and respectful - I would never yell or insult my T or show him any other disrespect... I'm fine with boundaries and don't push at them. I attend my appointments and I try to do the things he asks me to do between sessions - I even come up with alternatives if they aren't working for me.

At the same time, I'm not ideal at all because I have the high sense of awareness that many people are lacking... and for the most part my behaviour is modified so that I can function normally. Yet, my core beliefs and thoughts about myself just don't change, regardless of the evidence I can come up with that would help prove myself wrong. It just stubbornly won't change and I am really resistant to CBT/DBT even though I really try not to be.