I dont know why i am writing this i never talk to people unless they initiate conversation with me i guess im just tired and need to get this off my chest. This week hasnt been going so well i spent the whole day yesterday lying on my couch hiding under my blanket crying and for no particular reason i guess im just confused i am a student a private type of school and i enrolled because i needed something to do i dont even like the school and i dont think it will lead me anywhere i really dont seem to fit in anywhere and it scares me to death not knowing why im here am i just some sort of an entertainer whose sole purpose is to give my creator something to do to kill time i dont see any other purpose for me to be here. i dont want a job i dont want money i want to be able to do whatever i feel like any second of the day but that is not possible so im thinking about checking myself into a hospital so that i can just relax and try to find whatever it is im in search of is it normal that i have no memory of my childhood i seem to never remember having one and now i find it hard to recall what i did yesterday i am floating throught life and have no direction. i have been staying up later and later each day and i eat less and less i do not intend to kill myself but i wouldnt mind if i didnt wake up tomorrow why do i sit and cry why do i feel like i am responsible for every bad thing ever done when i know im not what should i do where should i turn to in this life i am so lost and i dont think i will ever find my way what is wrong with me

I look through your eyes to see the depths of me
as i walk inside my waking dream
i hold onto you for reality
watch me as i despense my seed
im alone here in the depths of me
with my open voids and no sense of serenity
for a seconds year i ponder these thoughts inside of me
never will i know the depths of me