This happened to me as well so let me just give you my point. Due to a job opportunity and advancement I was offered a position in the United States and my wife and I were ecstatic.

However, my new boss was a narcissistic bastard and I stayed around for 7 years before all hell broke lose and I left that company. Moved to another company but they were going through massive cutbacks, seen the writing on the wall and then took an Manager position over a data centre. That meant that I would have to work night shifts that were 12 hours. And similar to your husband, it also included weekends. At this point in my marriage, I felt I needed to stay gainfully employed for my wife and daughter and it still was a good job but working nights and weekends was the issue.

So here is my take..

Our marriage had already been rocky (resentment) but we did things together as a family. We had a boat and would do the weekend trips to the lake as a family. We actually had fun but again our marriage now getting worse. When I started to work the night shift, that put the coffin the nail. But my case is different than yours, so this is just an observation. By working nights the boat stayed in the drive and no longer shared the same schedule as a family. When I was off, my wife was working!! I was not happy in our marriage and my wife was not either. I felt that accepting this job paid for the bloody bills and she was not happy because she was an at home Mom for 6 years and now had to go back to work. Both of us had major resentment. So I worked this night shift for 4 years but it really hurt us. Another opportunity came around and I then started working regular hours once again but the damage was already done in our marriage. We were both really pissed off at each other and angry. It was the lowest time in our marriage.

Then an old HS flame contacting her on FB while he was drunk and sitting naked on a beanbag chair eating Cheetos (I just made that up but he had a drinking problem). He had depression problems and he a bad marriage with guess what ....resentment!!! It is strange how that destroys marriages. So he told my wife how much he always loved her, she was so beautiful, he cared for her, wanted to protect her, asked her for forgiveness when they broke up 27 years ago, complimented each other; full emotional affair, followed by a physical affair and both divorced their spouses and now they are married. So that is what happened to me but does not mean it will happen to you. My situation was the perfect storm. In other words, my wife had this huge emotional void and he told her things that she wanted to her. She would not even think of marriage counseling and wanted a divorce.

However, if your marriage is suffering now, be very careful!! My Ex-wife told me recently, when I started to work shift work that negatively affected our relationship. She told me that if her HS Boyfriend contacted her then, she would have not gotten involved with him. BTW, I think that is B.S but that is another story. My advice, talk talk talk and communicate!!!! You need to tell each other how much you appreciate what each of you do. I really feel your pain!!!