It is okay to be angry at God... He can handle it. Plus, He tells us, Come and let us reason together...
The Psalms are filled with angst and anger, some directed at God (see my thread on Psalm 77 where the depressed Psalmist blames God for his inability to sleep!)
I would rather you share your anger with God, than to take it out on anyone else... including yourself.
You've been through so much... give God the chance to speak to you now..
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I will tell you this... I've been here. Since the accident God doesn't speak to me - or I can't hear Him - like before the accident. I went through a really angry time about this...maybe I'm still harboring some of it?