Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithlessCat
...I don't know what to do anymore, I know I am not being myself, its a deliberate action on my part because it seems that where I live now me being me is just not 'acceptable'...
I moved around quite a bit over my life but had great friends in my 20's which I had to leave when I moved, then again great friends in my 30's but again moved...
It seems since my official diagnosis people think Im either crazy or see my mental health issues as a weakness or both.
I thought my DX was a great thing but slowly I am seeing that maybe it is ruining who I am  |
Do I read it right that you do tell people your dx? It's everyone's prerogative of course, but I tend not to. Even being selective about it, there have been mixed reactions. And remember, your dx doesn't ruin who you are -- you are still the same YOU you were before!
I can relate a bit to your deliberately not being yourself. I've done that some too, but, personally I found that it was too much work and didn't accomplish what I thought it might anyway. I remember realizing at one point that I just had to be me, and they could like it or lump it.
I've moved a lot too (like a LOT --probably almost 30 times, with a fair number being thousands of miles). What Skeezyks says about aquaintances/friends totally describes me, but I can also tell you that places varied a lot. What I found was that places to which people moved… people were more open to meeting new people because they were all in the same boat, so to speak. In places that were well-established…. where people grew up and stayed… not so much. They were already "all set". It wasn't that they were unfriendly so much as I don't think it even really occurred to them. I've been over there (to Ireland) a couple of good solid trips (and love it, btw) and have some relatives (in the rural west). I remember them positively marvelling over how much I'd moved (and how much Americans in general move). The older ones could hardly even imagine themselves moving, whereas younger cousins did move some. Where'd my point go?… Oh. Though we have a lot of the same issues, it
is different there and I can appreciate the sort of environment you are in. How is it that you came to move to your current location, btw?
(I went pretty darned hypomanic there -- lack of sleep, then straight into the day as if there were no time zone difference (though 7 hours), then up half the night, still perky as a squirrel, lol! This was marvelled at too.
I didn't know I had BP then despite a couple decades of at it by that point. Had to laugh, looking back.)
No matter where one is though, there does tend to be this experience of it being harder over time. Teens/20's are more social in general. Less responsibility, more free time or whatever. As people get older and have more of the former and less of the latter…it is more of a challenge. Which I don't say to be a bummer, but to say you are not alone.
(And maybe it comes back around as people start to get more free time again??)
And don't forget, you've got us!