That's quite a rant. (((gentle hugs)))

I'm sorry you are in a situation where the relationships you have are not the best for you now. Is there someone who WILL help you figure out how to live on your own for awhile? Have you checked social services and the like? There are many members here who know how to navigate the system to do this.

I had to give up my gardening because of my back injury. I sure know what it can do after working in the yard!

Let's not put off finding someone to help you. After all you do for others, it's time to do for yourself, imo.