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Feeling like you want to call her that is alright because you can't help your feelings.
At the same time it basically feels like you're living in a fantasy land, and that in the long run isn't healthy for anyone. You already know that she can't and will never be your mom because you can't change who your parents are... and it will only cause you pain in the long run.
But talking to her about it? That's totally fair because you're pretty much pretending she's your mom anyway - it would at least make the relationship more honest to talk about it.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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