Quote:
Originally Posted by Rapunzel
But here's the thing. Being made to talk about it before you are ready is retraumatizing. So can talking about it when it doesn't feel safe. The timing needs to be right for you, and so does the setting, and you need to talk about it to someone you are safe with, who is able to accept your experiences and whatever you feel about it, and not judge you or invalidate you. And you need to feel that you have some control over talking about it and the circumstances under which you talk about it.
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Absolutely, very well said.
I was forced to talk about my traumas long before I was ready. I was shuttled between counselors, having to repeat the story each time, and was interviewed by investigators while video cameras were pointed at me recording everything I said, every move I made, the tapes being scrutinized by who knows who.
After the experience it took me over a decade before I was willing to say
anything about the subject at all. Now, I don't know that I would have ever said anything had I not been forced to do so... I tend to think that I would not have. But being made to created it's own issues on top of what I had already been experiencing.
It's like being dragged into the street and stripped in front of people. It wrenches something deep down up to the surface, and once that's done it's near impossible to push it back down. Because it was forcibly displayed to everyone, it feels like it comes to define and dominate you, rather than being a buried part of you that you can try to ignore.
People have to talk about their traumas when they're ready, but only they themselves will know when that is. It may be after a couple days, months, years, or they may never be ready.