Ok... I am really sorry you are going through this. It has to be hard to maintain your own mental health while being made responsible for someone elses.

That being said, ( I really do not want to offend you but if I do not say something I am going to worry about you all week) this does not sound like a healthy relationship. He is making you responsible for his every move and blaming you for his lack of follow through. I am not unsympathetic, it sounds like he has a lot of baggage of his own. But his behavior twoards you in these instances is abusive.

Again, I really do not want to offend, and I really do care. I just really hope this helps.