Quote:
Originally Posted by brillskep
That is a thoughtful response.
I just wanted to say though, I think that if a therapist thinks of a client as ideal because of things which make the therapist think s/he is doing a good job, then s/he has a problem. Of course everyone needs to see results in their work, I'm just saying that if a therapist thought everything a client did says something about him as a therapist (even normal things such as paying on time or things which could be individual habits such as working hard), then I think that therapist will be missing important information about the client (and react badly to some clients' difficulties, taking them personally). Just saying. I have pretty strong feelings about this too.
About attending sessions and paying on time, I'd also like to point out that therapists also really just need the work and money, like any other professional. If a client didn't pay me on time for the services provided, I wouldn't mind it thinking that I'm doing a bad job, I'd mind it because I need the money I have earned by spending the time and working. Surely not doing these things says something about the therapeutic relationship, no doubt. But the therapeutic relationship is the responsibility of both therapist and client. I think taking too much responsibility is just as bad as not taking enough responsibility.
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I agree with that of course. I wasn't saying that the therapist can take all the credit for an "ideal client" I meant it more in a way that it sounded like the list was made by a therapist checking on what he thinks is an ideal client. If he then thought as a result a person doesn't need therapy, it wouldn't make him the ideal therapist. I believe a therapist-client relationship is very dynamic. It is about both the T and the client. I make it an important part of my therapy to tell my T when I think she has helped me with a breakthrough. And she tells me in response that it helps her become a better therapist. I make it a point to never "test" her on her commitment because for me it would blur the relationship with her in a way I wouldn't find helpful. If a T gets feedback from their client, it makes them more aware of the good (or not so good) work they do. So even if paying a bill does not necessarily reflect of a T is good or bad, it has implications for both, the patient and the T beyond being able to pay their bills.
And I also believe many clients cancel at least once in their therapeutic relationship just to find out if the T really cares. Some don't like to admit it, but I know it's true. And even valid in some cases... I know that my T appreciates that I try to attend every session and if I can't come to her, she comes to me. And I know for her it shows my commitment and that in return makes her confident that she is doing a good job.